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The 20 Unhealthiest Drinks in America

Riley Jones — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 10:28:42 -0500

My buddy, Bill, came to me a while back looking for advice on how to banish the bulging belly he had acquired in his later years. I skipped the diet lecture and instead gave him a copy of the book, Eat This, Not That!, and a single piece of advice: Start with the drinks chapter.

Four months later, Bill has adopted the simple food swap philosophy and dramatically altered his calorie intake without giving up the foods and drinks he loves. His reward: 25 pounds and three inches off of his waistline—in around six weeks!

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Amazing Beer Can Art

Riley Jones — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 11:13:46 -0400

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Note to Self- Don't fall asleep while drunk at Shea Stadium

Riley Jones — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 09:52:48 -0400

Cannabis linked to earlier psychosis onset

Roland, the Gunslinger — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 17:39:03 -0400

Researchers from Spain have found a strong and independent link between cannabis use and the onset of psychosis at a younger age. The association, they say, cannot be explained by chance, and is not related to gender or the use of other drugs. It is, however, related to the amount of cannabis used.

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Cracked: 9 Things (You Think) Your Beer Says About You (Off Color)

Riley Jones — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 12:58:56 -0400

I don’t know why people love ragging on other people’s beers. You never see people this jumpy about wine coolers. But I do know how to capitalize on a trend. Here at Cracked, we take a certain pride in our ability to mock other people for many diverse reasons, ranging from their religious views to their lame superpowers. And we want to help you, the reader. Below is a simple list of arguments you can bring up when drinking at the bar, on the beach or in the sauna, which will help you prove conclusively why the beer you’re drinking makes your genitals ten times larger than the other guy (or girl.)

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LONG list of Unusual Deaths

Riley Jones — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:53:09 -0400

1911: Jack Daniel, founder of the Tennessee whiskey distillery, died of blood poisoning six years after receiving a toe injury when he kicked his safe in anger at being unable to remember its combination.

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Why do bars play loud, sucky music? Here comes the science

Riley Jones — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 10:29:04 -0400

If you're ever worried that you've had one too many drinks after a night of bar-hopping, you might want to ask yourself: Are my ears ringing? Because it turns out that when the music gets loud, we tend to drain our mug of brew faster. That’s according to a study to be published in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research.

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The 10 Most Ill-Conceived Booze Brand Names

Riley Jones — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 13:00:26 -0400

#6: "Pusser's Rum"

Members of the British Navy, back when they were out sailing into mysterious foreign ports to bayonet the locals and open post offices, were kept from mutiny largely by a daily allotment--a "tot"--of rum. Sure there was the scurvy, the filthy living conditions and, if you were the cabin boy, the constant fear of being raped and/or eaten, but none of that would seem as terrible if you were out of your gourd on rum at the time.

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The War Against Beer Pong

Riley Jones — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 16:02:14 -0400

Perhaps, in retrospect, JV Games should have seen this coming. After all, drinking games and video games may be two of college kids' favorite pastimes, but they are also a source of constant complaints from the students' middle-aged parents. So when the softwaremaker tried to combine the two adolescent activities, many critics felt it had gone too far.

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Shia LaBeouf Arrested for DUI

Riley Jones — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 17:21:57 -0400

Actor Shia LaBeouf was arrested at 3:00 a.m. this morning after being involved in a traffic accident in Hollywood. While making a left turn Shia collided with another car and ended up rolling his ride.

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The 7 Most Bizarre Fast Food Industry Lawsuits

Riley Jones — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 05:00:00 -0400

We've all heard the infamous story of the lady who sued McDonald's after getting burned by a cup of hot coffee, or the woman who found the chicken head in her McNuggets.

What does not get as much coverage is now many suits get filed in the other direction, as the fast food corporations prove they can think up far stupider reasons to sue than their customers can.

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Once banned, absinthe is back

Riley Jones — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 17:14:14 -0400

For 95 years, Americans wanting a taste of absinthe had to sneak it in from Europe or Mexico – and risk getting the high-proof herbal liquor confiscated by U.S. Customs.

In May 2007, government officials lifted the ban on the drink once blamed for causing hallucinations and psychosis. A year later, Virginia’s Alcoholic Beverage Control Board approved one brand for sale.

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What exactly is 'Pinot Noir?'

Riley Jones — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 18:09:18 -0400

Pinot noir is derived from the french words for "pine" and "black" alluding to the varietals' tightly clustered dark purple pine cone shaped bunches of fruit.

Pinot noir grapes are grown around the world, mostly in the cooler regions. It is widely considered to produce some of the finest wines in the world, but is a difficult variety to cultivate and transform into wine.

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World's Largest Flip Cup Tournament

Riley Jones — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 00:20:31 -0400

The Flip Cup Guys would like to congratulate Perfect Nips, Perfect Flips who took home the Flip Cup Trophy at NYC Flip Cup II. Jill Tucker won the Girls Survivor Flip Cup competition and Jon Z. won the Guys Survivor Flip Cup competition. The Cantina Pub Crew won the Toilet Bowl and took home two rolls of Toilet Paper. Thanks to everyone who came out to the event. See you on the Jersey Shore! Congratulations to all of our winners!

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The Latest Video Game Controversy -- Wii Beer Pong

Riley Jones — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 18:26:09 -0400

Beer pong, also known as beirut, lob pong, or many other names is a wildly popular college drinking game. It involves making a triangle of filled beer cups on each side of the table. Each team then takes terms bouncing ping pong balls at the other team’s cups. If the ball goes in, the other team has to chug the cup of beer. The winning team is the first to eliminate the others cups. The losing team has to chug the winners' remaining cups.

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Girl publishes comments about alleged wild party. Newspapers pick them up as a story. Mother sues newspapers for defamation.

Riley Jones — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:37:09 -0400

It read like the teenage party from hell: a riot of sex and wanton damage fuelled by under-age drinking that only ended when the police arrived. According to media reports, the mother of the teenage hostess was so angry with her daughter that she punched her.

But Jodie Hudson's lurid description of the party on the social networking website Bebo, subsequently carried in a number of national newspapers, turned out to be fantasy. The media stories, and the accompanying pictures taken from Bebo, are now the subject of a landmark legal case that could redraw the boundaries of the use of information published on social networking sites including Bebo, Facebook and MySpace.

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Do you love Slurpees? How about a free one?

Riley Jones — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 13:06:31 -0400

Well, 7-Eleven's participating stores are offering customers a free Slurpee to celebrate their 81st birthday on – when else? – July 11, 7/11/08, also known as 7-Eleven® Day!

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8 Ways to Win (or Avoid) a Bar Fight With Limbs Intact

Riley Jones — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 01:40:37 -0400

At some point in your life you are likely to find yourself a participant in a bar fight. These altercations occur for various reasons, but can usually be attributed to some drunken chump who couldn't keep his mouth shut, couldn't take 'no' for an answer, or couldn't handle the fact you just snatched up his lady's digits while he was peter-gazing in the urinal. Regardless of whether or not that drunken chump is you, it is all about self preservation. Here are some tips for surviving such a confrontation or avoiding it altogether.

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Starbucks: A Study in Liberal Failure

Riley Jones — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 20:28:40 -0400

This is what happens when you aggressively piss off half your customers.

Starbucks has announced it's closing 600 underperforming stores in the United States.

Tell me how you can have an unprofitable store, when you sell an addictive, highly-fashionable product for 10 times what it costs you to make (obscene profits anyone)? You can run it like a liberal, over-compensating employees for a job any old chump (or chimp) could do. You could alienate your customers by advocating and sponsoring wacky fringe causes.

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An Instant Saloon Classic: The Museum of the American Cocktail opening in July will focus on the rich history of sophisticated drinks

Riley Jones — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 13:27:59 -0400

Curator Ted Haig shows part of the antique liquor collection at The Museum of the American Cocktail in New Orleans.

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John Daly Uses Beer Can as Golf Tee

Riley Jones — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 08:27:11 -0400

On an otherwise quiet, muggy afternoon, two fan favorites shot life into the Buick Open Pro-Am at Warwick Hills on Wednesday.

Jolly long-driving John Daly walked the course along with Detroit's own Kid Rock in probably the closest real life circus pairing you'll ever see on the links. Hundreds followed the two along the tees and fairways as Daly delighted fans by signing autographs, joking with the amateurs and even pulling off a few trick shots of his own.

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James Bond Boozing: 10 Amazing Flasks for Undercover Drunks

Riley Jones — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 00:12:59 -0400

Your average hip flask has always been the gold standard of getting drunk in public: It's convenient, discreet and there's a certain class to it.

Nevertheless, companies sometimes mess with the perfection of the common flask by tacking liquor reservoirs onto all sorts of accessories and accouterments. Thanks to the following products, you too can live the dream of becoming an alcoholic version of James Bond.

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Nectar of the Broke: The World's 5 Worst Ways To Get Drunk (Funny, Rough Language)

Riley Jones — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 07:48:00 -0400

#4 on the list: Russian Aftershave

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Possibly the Funnist Beer commercial ever

Riley Jones — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 16:01:18 -0400

Red wine stops effects of high-fat diet

Riley Jones — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 23:08:27 -0400

Red wine does indeed explain why the French get away with a relatively clean bill of heart health despite eating a diet loaded with saturated fats, concludes a new study.

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Gettin' hot in here (Funny, crude humor)

Riley Jones — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 07:30:41 -0400

Filled up my tank at $2.83 a gallon on 'Moonshine'

Riley Jones — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 08:10:26 -0400

Hey guys a friend got me thinking ‘green’ (functional ‘green’ not enviro-nutjob ‘green’) the last few weeks. Anyway, I noticed my van is ‘E85’ compatible a few weeks back and finally made the plunge to go fill up on ethanol today. And you have to hand it to the Midwest.

Down south, if you make 'moonshine' you get arrested. Up here, they call it 'fuel' and use it to help ween America off the 'Black Crack' that OPEC sells.

What happened to my van? Nothing. Ran like a top and so far I haven’t noticed a difference in mileage. My way of helping the environment, the American Farmer and sticking it to OPEC. Normal 89 octane gas around here is $3.89 so yeah y’all, I feel pretty smart at that moment.

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Japanese Brewery Introduces "Space Beer"

Riley Jones — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 09:44:30 -0400

Taking beer-making to a whole new sphere, Japan's famous Sapporo Holdings Ltd. plans to launch a beer in November that's literally from out of this world. The brewery will collaborate with scientists at the Okayama University in Japan to concoct this unearthly beverage from a third generation of barley grains that spent five months on the International Space Station in 2006.

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Yep... He's thirsty

Riley Jones — Sat, 31 May 2008 09:50:47 -0400

The Good, the Bad, and the Thirsty - drunkards in the old west.

Riley Jones — Thu, 29 May 2008 13:11:03 -0400

With the exception of a few goofy teetotalers, in the average Old West town you couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting a serious tippler (and he’d probably shoot you soon after). The drinkers you’re about to cross paths with—con-men, gunslingers, gamblers, madams, lawdogs and soiled doves—are among the very best.

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